conference
Alright. So. I had been dreading my conference with Dianna. Today it happened. Complete 180 from CCM conferences. Probably because Dianna is the sweetest person ever.

I walked in and she caught me totally off guard because she asked me what I got out of being here? I was like, "Uhhh well... it's nice how much you care about the company's technique. I know that a lot of places don't really give corrections, but you care so much. A lot of the dancers are also really great artists so they give me something to learn from. And I love the family that's here." So we talked about that.

Then she asked me what my plans were for next year. I told her that I was confused. And I didn't know what I was doing with my life... dance? school? home? Europe? Ohio? No one knows. She asked me to explain why. And I did. She said, "You know... it's funny. With most people I feel like I can almost understand their thoughts better than they can... but with you I can tell that you really don't know." She expressed her opinion that you can always go back to school, but going back to dancing after quitting is really rough. She also told me that I'm welcome back to BTM next year if I like, but she feels like this isn't the place that I'm destined to me. She said that I was a great dancer with good sense of lines and a good body. I still need to work on my turns, feet, and stage presence (shocker), but that I have it if I want it. She emphasized that she has nothing against me as a dancer, and that she was sure that I would improve even more if I stayed. However, she does feel that bigger and better things are out there for me.

So then we looked at my audition list. She gave opinions. She is very for Nevada, City Ballet of San Diego, State Street, American Rep Ballet, and Nashville. I asked her how much I could miss and she said that if I can go when we're on lay-off... that'd be ideal. If anyone is giving me trouble, she said she'd call them and explain what a crisis we're in trying to put a million things up right now.

So then I brought up the idea of me going modern and ADF and everything. I was waiting for her to laugh or something. She kind of shrugged and said, "Well... I haven't seen you do too much contemporary, but I definitely feel like you have a contemporary flair to you. I think that you have a lot of qualities that modern companies would really like. I think that maybe you should try this ADF thing out and see where it takes you. It would really make you decide whether or not you want to go modern. I'll be able to give you a better idea of how I think you'd be as a modern dancer later on in the season. We're doing a contemporary piece in the spring and I'll keep that in mind while I'm casting." So there was that. She definitely agreed that I should explore contemporary ballet and modern companies. Iiiiiiinteresting.

Sooo yeah that was pretty much my conference. I really didn't need to stress like I did. As usual.